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The women behind the scars

Updated: Feb 18, 2020

I have a past... I have my bruises... I learnt my lessons....

That is who I became... That is who I am...


I have a future... I have dreams...

It has a price... I know... It wont be easy...

But I have the chance... and I will take it....

I remember that day when I stood up.

It was a normal day after 17 hours working. I witnessed how one of my crew, who was assigned under me, got verbally abused by my manager. I knew my rights, actually I had no rights to say anything against a manager, specially not in the Middle East.

But there is a time when the spiritual teachings and your inside works reach a level and you have to decide. If you want to follow the path of your heart you can not stay silence and assist the one who abusing the others, cause in that case you are abusing as well in an indirect way.

It was a great presser on me. I had to do what my heart demanded but I was still in the Middle East. It was impossible without putting myself in danger.

On the other side, It was my decision to go there and work for them. I can not blame the circumstances of my awakening if I was the one who has chosen it.

It was with shaken legs but I was there next day in the office face to face with the same manager who abused my crew and I told her that her behavior was unacceptable.

She could not find the words for a moment cause it has never happened before. But she found her voice.. Not that day... the following day.

I remember that following day. I was called to the office. At that morning when I woke up, I was listening the "Today I rise" initiation video and I collected all power possible and prayed for blessing.

I have chosen my path.

I stepped out but I had no idea what was waiting for me and It was scary.

My life was threatened and my way out of the Middle East got jammed. It happened in an unofficial meeting as it is standard procedure in case somebody dare to stand out.

The next half year was terrible. Even my breath was checked. My phone, my IP address, everything was recorded. Every single day I got a agent who followed me everywhere and listened every single word I was saying.

After that first 6 months my medical condition started to worsen and it seemed my immune system was given up on me.

I had to make an other decision, giving it up or go against them. The hardest and scariest decision I ever made.

I knew about the suicidal issues happened every month, which was kept secret by the office, not to destroy the company reputation.

But the other option was to go against the whole system in their own land. Who am I to dare to do this? And how?

I started with small little act of kindness. It was like a silence resistance. Instead of the standard procedure which forced every leader to look for mistake and criticize the crew in their review, I started to write compliments about them. The praise had results. Rumors spread and crew started to ask for me and I did what I could, I wrote compliments in every single occasion.

I got called to the office about 3 more times, I rejected the 4th one and continued writing those letters.

There was something extraordinary powerful to praise others in a system where you forced to punish them.

As the number of my letters rose, my influence rose as well and the threat too. I started to work on my escape plan and moved my staff back to Europe secretly bit by bit.

I knew I had to comply with all the regulation if I wanted to do it fair play with the official resignation procedure, but I did not expect that I would have to fight till the end to let me go.

Couple of months ago I safely arrived to my new home in Ireland. I learnt a lot. One of the lesson was that Verbal abusing is not in the employee contract even if the company is in the Middle East. People enjoys luxury on an expense of others being abused.

I am grateful for the ten years when I could see the world and I was working extremely hard for it. Hard work is accepted, but humiliation and abusing was never an accepted part of the contract.

I got my life back and I am absolutely grateful for it, but a girl named Elena died just two weeks before I left, by jumping out from the aircraft holding broken wine glass to her throat. She was in my shoes and I guess I was lucky. I will never forget her sacrifice.

Here I am now, living in the most beautiful place on Earth in safe and harmony and I believe.

I believe that life is a miracle.

I believe that everything is happening for you.

I believe that everything makes you stronger.

I believe in the power of praise and the power of love.

I believe that I have the right to say that humiliation is not accepted in any form against anyone.

And I believe in a better world where people prioritize respect above luxury.

I believe that I have my voice for the change.

A3 size, marker pen drawing

photo source: unknown

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