They said in the Feminine journey, if you are one of those destined to be a healer, you have to visit the Ancient Mother Wound, the most painful one, the Original One. Most probably you will be pushed into it by your own personal life experience to finally manage to see HER.
The good mother has to die in order to reawaken the True one, who is able to hold the whole existence, all the good and bad, light and dark together in it.
And in order to be able to do that, you will be formed to be the Grail by blood and fire. You will learn tough lesson of responsibilities, and you will be prepared to hold deepening emotions.
Still nobody spoke about the amount of anger which comes with it. The history never lets a girl express anger. You have to be the smiling one because that is girlish, even when they abuse you.
(I need to add here that there is a similar path in the Masculine healing journey as well, - since the Patriarchy caused serious damages in both sides - where the Man is finally allowed to feel all the range of emotions, NOT JUST the anger.)
For a woman, it is about decades of oppressions, abuses, betrayals, which connect personal and collective source of pain together. These emotions were waiting (thousands of) years hidden, restricted and forbidden, and when they finally came to light, the Breakthru feels like the biggest eruption with unstoppable molten magma running its course. Justice is the right word for it, and it hits in waves.
- How did they dare to do it? Who or what authorized them? or more closely:
- How I let it happen? What did it take so long to stand up? and why?
- Will I be able to forgive them, to myself or to my mother to let it happen?
And when it comes, It is time for the pit fire.
Hold that anger, transmute it while it firing through all your cells and cleaning up all the wounds; let it through but also hold it close without grabbing it and learn to control it.
Standing in the storm unshakable, worrying about that a single slip of fire, which could sneak out of control can cause irreversible damage to your loved ones is the heaviness of how that Grail reaches its final firmness in the pit fire.
The gift is the regained ancient Power of the Feminine - and I am speaking about the real, pure, sacred POWER, the ancient womb, which created the whole Universe, which is available only for those who dare to see without turning their head away, or closing their eyes.
And if you received that gift, start it over, use that grail to give birth to a better world.