Updated: Feb 18, 2020
An Osho teaching says: "All relationships are of possession, the husband possesses the wife, the wife possesses the husband, the parents possess the children, and so on and so forth.
To possess is not to relate. In fact to possess is to destroy all possibilities of relating.
If you relate, you respect; you cannot possess. If you relate, there is great reverence. If you relate, you come very close, very very close, in deep intimacy, overlapping. Still the other's freedom is not interfered with, still the other remains an independent individual. The relationship is that of I-thou, not that of I-it -- overlapping, interpenetrating, yet in a sense independent.”
I had the opportunity to travel all around the world and catch a sight of different cultures and different kinds of relationship beliefs.
I saw relationships based on economical cooperation, specially on country side, rural areas, where people depend on each other's help and create relationship for the purpose to share the workload.
I saw relationships based on agreement of the elders' and mostly for the reason to keep the wealth inside the family, or inside the 'friendzone' or to make diplomatic connection to an other wealthy family.
I saw relationship based on religios beliefs, based on the same common ground of their religios value. It keeps them safe and blessed as far as both of them follow the rules.
I saw relationship based on habit as a kind of "we grew up together, we know each other, we will continue cause it is what we know and it works."
I saw freshly new-wed couples right after the graduation to make the binding from the fear not to lose each other.
I saw set-up dates where both part felt awkward and while they hate the whole situation, they may find a lottery-love.
I saw that kind of strange encounter when one says to an other "you are single, I am single, non of us like to be single so be together from now on, cause it is still better than being alone."
I saw lots of kind and I had to add I truly believe that the purest and deepest relationship can grow only from two independent individuals who experienced and understand aloneness and chose to be together in freedom and in a special kind of interconnectedness. This is the relationship what is NOT based on safety, habits, religious beliefs or fear from the unknown/loneliness but the exact opposite. It is the relationship what gives you the opportunity to grow to understand yourself more and expand in new areas you have never ever known that exist. It is the one which gives you the motivation to go forward and dare to step up and be yourself in all your colors.
It is the one when you look at the other as a unique constellation and you respect and ready to learn who he/she is.
And for that first you have to be alone, to get know yourself and to get know your own demon and make him/her as your friend.
A3, marker pen drawing from my favorite movie Claudatlas